Depression

It is completely normal to feel upset or down occasionally, however depression is an illness that is much more serious, it can last years and can cause emotional and physical symptoms.  Some symptoms of depression are

• you can’t sleep or you sleep too much
• you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
• you feel hopeless and helpless
• you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
• you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
• you are much more irritable and short-tempered than usual
• you have thoughts that life is not worth living
• Constant sadness
• low self esteem
• reduced sex drive

When I was a little younger, just a couple of years ago growing up as a gay teenager I suffered from depression, most of the memories I have tried to block out but I hated myself I had countless suicidal thoughts but thankfully I didn't have the confidence to actually go through with them, but my life totally changed during my depression, I left the family home to share a flat with my cousin but the living arrangements there annoyed me so I moved out again into a house of my own.  I left college and took a full time position at one of my places of work but then a couple of months later I got annoyed with that job too so four years after starting there as a part timer I left and took a full time position at my other job in a pub, I tried deliberately to change my whole life just to try and create a life that I might actually enjoy I was inches away from moving away from my home town all together as I started trying to find away to run away and completely start over.

Thankfully things got better, I still work in the same pub and I actually sort of enjoy my life now.  So if you are going through this then please don't do anything stupid I promise it does get better.

If you are suffering from depression I would suggest going to a doctor as there are treatments available.